Excerpt from ‘Chapter 19: Technology’

‘Undoubtedly, the suicide rate among the youths traversing the Internet would have skyrocketed when the minds of these young people were greeted daily, hourly, by the minute with an unending stream of ghastly pictures, videos of stupidity incarnate, and terrible, mind-wrenching conspiracy theories, had not some divine technological body flooded the Interwebs with its own unending river of cute and cuddly animal pictures.

Plus, they had their p0rn.’

Excerpt from ‘Chapter 5: Politics’

‘In an elaborate practical joke on itself, the human race began electing the most inept and stupid people it could find to lead it.  The people had learned this trick in high school, where it was a common practice to elect the worst student to the role of Class President.  The mass joke worked brilliantly and most people agreed that it put their ‘knickers’ in a great state of ‘knotted-ness.’

Next, it was determined that somehow all of the world should be tricked into defecating into a paper sack, placing the sack on their own front steps, lighting the sack on fire, ringing their own doorbells, and then running around their house, in through their own back doors, opening their own front doors, and stomping on the sack, all while wearing their pajamas and nicest shoes.  The organization of this mass, world-wide affair was put in the hands and minds of the world’s greatest thinkers and engineers.

The day of execution was tentatively set for April 2, 2010; a date which very few would ever suspect.’

The Introduction to the Sasquatch’s ‘History of the Twenty-First Century’

‘The destruction of certain elements of society depended upon a slow and unending process of collective stupidity and forced ignorance. Everyone seemed complacent in ensuring the betterment of society would go uninsured. Entertainment seemed to be the only collective passion, and so it was pursued at all times and through all means.

Some citizens even played bingo.’